


From the Dining Table

by ramennuudles



Series: You bring me home [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Missed Opportunities, Not Beta Read, One Shot, POV Bucky Barnes, Parties, Post-Break Up, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Messed Up, bad communication skills, inspired by a song, lingering feelings, stream harry styles for clear skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23173486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramennuudles/pseuds/ramennuudles
Summary: Though there were many of Bucky's friends here tonight, he kept catching himself staring at Steve. The blonde looked, fed up. Like being at this party was a chore for him. It's because of you. The thought makes him sad. Steve still looked great as ever, minus the bored expression on his face. Steve's hair was still styled but his beard was fuller. He had joked one cloudy morning that if Steve grew it out any longer, he would look like a lumberjack.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: You bring me home [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665415
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27





	From the Dining Table

**Author's Note:**

> ayye, part "2" babey!! either this one (from the dining table) or two ghosts can be read first. its the same event told by both perspectives, focusing more on the emotions that each character is experiencing. I want to practice with writing and implementing more emotion into my writing so this story is practice for me. yes the title is from a harry styles song, this series (bc I have decided that I want to write more) will have harry styles titles. I make the rules around here :).

Bucky wanted him to be here. But he didn't expect him to actually show up. Natasha claims he's smarter than to fall for her little tricks, but here he was. Bucky didn't know what he was supposed to feel. Anger? Pain? But all he felt was, empty. And maybe a small pang of longing too. He knew what he was feeling was reflected on his face, how could he not? Bucky feels like he hasn't truly smiled in a long time. Everyone one around him seemed to be having a great time. Laughing, smiling catching up with each other and if Bucky hadn't been activity searching out the elephant in the room, he would of felt he was the only one with a downturned expression. The tall blonde figure very presence reminds him he isn't alone. 

Steve Rogers, a mountain of a man. Tall with wide, muscular shoulders, and baby blues that seem too good to be true. At 6'2, Steve towers over Bucky's measly 5'7, once making him feel safe, and comforted. Those feelings have more replaced with something close to unease. Steve used to be the man that would pull Bucky against him tight at night, encircling him with Steve's familiar cologne. But that doesn't happen anymore. They haven't even spoken since Steve ended things. Bucky's phone sits, no messages or calls from the one person he wants to desperately to call him. If wasn't for the iron grip that Natasha had on Bucky's arm, he would of already escaped this party. But the red head kept Bucky in place, attempting to engage him into conversations with the people around him. He had to admit, Bucky had become a sight hermit. Didn't go out much anymore and Natasha just wasn't having it anymore. 

Though there were many of Bucky's friends here tonight, he kept catching himself staring at Steve. The blonde looked, fed up. Like being at this party was a chore for him. _It's because of_ _you._ The thought makes him sad. Steve still looked great as ever, minus the bored expression on his face. Steve's hair was still styled but his beard was fuller. He had joked one cloudy morning that if Steve grew it out any longer, he would look like a lumberjack. Maybe he was doing it out of spite, thinking that Bucky didn't want more facial hair. But, it just made him more attractive, making Bucky's heart hurt. Steve looked composed, like he didn't have his heart crushed by the only person he has ever loved romantically. _Maybe because he didn't, just you._

A sigh escapes his lips. This party was suppose to be fun, even if Steve was here. Clint had just got a huge promotion, and Bucky wanted to be happy for him but only a simple congrats could make it out of his mouth. He's sure Clint understood. It's not like Clint had no idea of what had been going on, he had dealt with break ups from long term relationships. Clint just seemed to be able to handle it better. From the looks of it at least, he didn't still love his ex. Bucky really shouldn't still love Steve, but he does and it leaves him misty eyed and in the arms of Natasha. The brunette always asks her, _"does he still care?"_ and every time Natasha seems to bite her tongue. She tries to tell Bucky that Steve will come around and call him but, reality is starting to set in. 

He takes a sip of his drink. Never alcohol, Bucky cringes at the videos of him fumbling around drunk from his high school years. But he always liked the taste, only from another source. Steve wasn't an alcoholic but the man certainly knew his way around a bottle or two. The memories of Bucky lugging a drunk Steve back to their apartment, the sloppy misplaced kisses with a familiar breath of beer, almost makes Bucky crack a smile. _Their apartment._ Bucky's own thoughts echo in his own head. He doesn't smile, his frown happens to deepen. They never officially moved into together, but it felt like the brunette was paying for nothing. After the break up, Bucky couldn't bare to pick up his things. Most of his life was there, including the very person that made it better. He sighs into his can, looking around at everyone but Steve, trying to distract himself from his own thoughts. 

Bucky sometimes questions his friends. He loves them, how could he not? They have been there for him throughout it all, including Steve and his split. But, they are also Steve's friends. A wave of guilt passes over him. From what he can tell from the atmosphere of the party with the brooding figure and what Natasha has let slip, the blonde seems to be doing alright. That doesn't stop Bucky's heart strings from being tugged on. _What if he does need to talk to someone? Am I keeping him from talking to someone he trusts?_ Vile starts rising in the brunette's throat. Steve had always been a tough guy but everyone has feelings, and emotions. No matter how strong their tough guy act seemed to be. Maybe he wasn't telling Natasha the 100% truth? Bucky swallows down the rising set of unease. He hates feeling so guilty for something he couldn't control. Other peoples choices are not something that one can control. _All you can do is control your actions and_ _response._

The can that Bucky's holding starts to feel too light, filled with more air than soda. He could get more but knowing Natasha, she wouldn't want him out of her sight. Afraid he's going to run off and escape. _Don't_ _forget, Steve is near the drinks, you would have to pass by him to get your next drink._ So he stays, with an empty can of soda in the middle of a group of happy people. Bucky couldn't feel more out of place. Even his outfit choice makes him feel like a fish out of water. All the people around him are rocking the latest looks while Bucky could barely bring himself to wear jeans. His shitty sweater doesn't make the outfit any better. The brunette was unable to find his nice sweater and he's convinced that Natasha had an hand in the missing clothing item. Bucky actually thinks she's had a play in all the missing clothes. He may be forgetful and misplaces things sometimes but shirts and jackets don't just grow legs and walk away. 

Movement from the corner of Bucky's eye breaks him away from his thoughts on the missing clothes crisis. It's Steve, the one person he tried to keep his eyes off the entire time he had been at the party. With a final sip, the blonde tosses his bottle. It feels rather familiar in the sense of his feelings, Steve just giving up and throwing out their relationship because he was done with his own actions? _That's bitchy._ Steve does something else, he looks straight at Bucky. There's this look, something Bucky could never forget. A look of love. _He loves you still?_ The brunette is just frozen in place, tears can't even form from Bucky's eyes. But before he can smile or even make any acknowledgement of Steve, the blonde turns and walks out the door without spearing Bucky a second look. He wants to run after Steve, make it known that he knows that Steve still _loves him._ Something keeps him in his place. Fear? Guilt? Maybe some remorse but Bucky stays, staring at the door, like Steve would run back in an declare his true feelings. With a glance to his phone, Bucky makes a decision that Natasha would gruel him for later and types out a text. 

_**To Steve Rogers:**_ _hey, it's Bucky. can we talk?_

**Author's Note:**

> okokokok this has absolutely nothing to do with this fic, not even the same fandom but does anyone watch criminal minds bc I am upset. I really hate when good characters r ruined by bad writing :(, reid deserves the world and I feel that the writers kept fucking him over. okay my little rant is over, hope u guys like it! as u can see the difference in the tags "bittersweet ending" vs "hopeful ending" and that Bucky's side carried the plot a bit further than Steve's. look out for the next installments of the "You bring me home" series! dunno might fuck around and make a prequel,,,, stay heathy!


End file.
